“So faithfully and dutifully I award you with betrayal”
OK! I admit it! The sole reason for this post is to get Rachel’s happy-birthday country song off the main page of my blog. It’s no longer you birthday Rachel, and country music makes me… ahhh! Ich ärgere mich über Country Musik!
New song is one given to me by a friend about a year ago. I may have posted it already, but I am going to do something I never do: ACTUALLY PUT the lyrics on my blog. *GASP*! Yes, I am serious, but they are THAT good. And if you don’t want to read the whole thing, I bolded the best parts. Matthias Replaces Judas - by Showbread
It is so that my transgressions have born a withered fruit,
The sun has scorched the rising plants; alas they have no root.
The bleached bones of animals bound by leather strips,
Dance through the air with laughter as I wield this wicked whip.
As you did warn me, Carpenter, this world has weakened my heart,
So easily I disparage, self-seeking the work of my art.
And there you have come to me at the moment I bathe in my sorrow,
So in love with myself, sought after avoiding tomorrow,
Where do you find the love to offer he who betrays you?
And offer to wash my feet as I offer to disobey you?
Your beauty does bereave me, and how my words do fail,
So faithfully and dutifully I award you with betrayal.
The and the down trodden fall on broken legs,
As I walk pas a smile I cast, fervor in my stead,
But my bones like plastic do buckle backward now,
I lay in this field by Judas’ bowels and anticipate the plow.
I can not be forgiven; my wages will be paid,
For those more lovely and admirable is least among the saved.
And where would I fit, Jesus?
What place is left for me?
The price of atonement is more than I’ve found to offer up as my plea,
Jesus my heart is all I have to give to you;
So weak and so unworthy, it simply will not do.
No alabaster jar, no diamond in the rough,
For your body that was broken
How can this be ENOUGH?
By me you were abandoned
By me you were betrayed
Yet in your arms and in your heart forever I have stayed.
Your glory illuminates my life, and no darkness will descend
for you have loved me forever, and your love will never end.
I would write a long explanation about why I posted this, but I think the song basically sums up my feelings about now:
I’m sick of sinning. I’m sick of messing up. I’m sick of having a heart that wants to beat for the wrong reasons. I’m sick of not loving others like I am supposed to.
I have no idea how God manages to put up with me. I have no idea why he continues to bless my life even though I continue to actively seek other things besides him.
There is one more song I put on after the Showbread song - “Grace like Rain” by Todd Agnew (haha! That country song will NEVER resurface!).
“Hallelujah! Grace like rain falls down on me!
Hallelujah! All my stains are washed away!”
(Sorry about the Christmas colored text. I just found out today how to color text and I got a little too excited 
)
And that’s all the entertainment I have for you today. Have a wonderful weekend, ya’lls.
Deedles Marie
AHHH I almost forgot a few things:
1) Somethings are happening at Dordt that I am very upset about.
First of all, Pam and Charles Adams (professors at Dordt) got into a serious car accident. They are still alive… but their situation is very serious!
Second, my ex-boss, Sandi Altena was unfairly, suddenly and unreasonably fired from her job. If you attend Dordt College and you know her, and haven’t written a letter to President Zylstra yet, please do so! Let me know if you need more information.
And please keep both of these situations in your prayers!
2) MY ART SHOW IS GOING UP IN 1.5 WEEKS! AHHH! IF YOU ARE IN IOWA, MARK YOUR CALENDAR!
Ok that’s all.
Bye for reals now.
4 Comments so far
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what happened to sandi?
Elbert: Here is the letter that Sandi wrote herself.
Hi all.
I’ve had so many questions about what happened.
So I thought I’d tell you the facts so there wouldn’t be a wild spread of rumors.
I don’t care if you share this information. I’d rather have the truth out there than some crazy assumptions:
Bethany and I were planning all last semester for next year. We created a
model that is new and amazing. It was exciting to do together.
I created a new initiative called Retention Matters, also the Barnabas Team, and the Philip Project. I developed a plan for an extreme revision of Gen 100 which includes learning communities. I did a GIFT, and Chapel, and a Unity chapel. I taught Gen 100 (and had good evals) and advised all of those students. I met with upset roommates, I handled all the details of my work.
You asked if I’ve been in trouble:
I had no discipline, no warnings, no mis-conduct, etc.
I’ve been here 11 years and have no mis-behavior record.
I say this to show you that I worked really hard first semester.and that I have no history of trouble.
On Thursday night last week I got an e-mail from Bethany asking me to attend a mtg with her and Sue (HR) on Friday morning at 8:30 AM.
I arrived and Sue, Arlan Nederhoff and Bethany were there.
Bethany said something like: “Thanks for coming, I want to tell you that I’ve decided not to renew your contract and it’s effective immediately. Arlan and Sue will give you the details.” Then she got up and left.
I asked Sue and Arlan what I had done.
They said she doesn’t need a cause - she’s a VP and may create her own team.
I was given 30 minutes to go to my office and get any personal stuff and then needed to turn in my keys and leave campus.
Some have asked if this was part of the restructure plan.
And, no, it wasn’t. I was dismissed, and I’m pretty sure they will re-hire someone to fill my position if this isn’t reversed.
FYI: I’m appealing next week Weds afternoon to Zylstra.
Many students, alumni,and parents are writing Zylstra on my behalf. THANK you for that. That’s very helpful. I also really appreciate how respectful you all have been towards Bethany and the college.
I was also asked why I’m appealing.
These are my concerns:
1. Dismissing someone without a prior record of misconduct.
2. Dismissing someone without stating a reason.
3. Dismissing someone who has an 11 year history and good record.
4. Dismissing someone without any conversation - if this was a personal issue, I was never given an opportunity to speak to it or about it. there was never a place for reconciliation - if that’s what this is about.
That’s about it.
I hope that helps you understand more. I know what it feels like to be in the dark, so I thought I give you what I’ve got.
I ask for prayers, too.
man, this is hard.
I’m very sad. And my family is reeling as well….
Blessings and God’s Love to you all,
sandi
I am sorry for Sandi especially because Dordt is a Christian college and you would think they would more upright and honest about why her job has been terminated. What kind of politics go on at Dordt?? MOM
Diane, have a safe trip to Berlin tomorrow. Let us know how things are going. We love you and are looking forward to seeing you soon. Love, Mom