Diane’s World

…many enter, few come out the same

“It is well with my soul…”

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A freshman boy died today.

His name is Jon Kooima.

Not quite the dramatic ending. There was no blood. No life long battle with cancer. No heart attack even.

Jon’s heart just stopped.

No, I don’t know this guy.

Infact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him before.

Even more so, I have yet to meet someone who has.

But that’s not the point.

Right before I went to the prayer service for Jon’s death, one of my friends told me:

“I’m afraid to die.”

I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.

Well… at least for an hour.

Death scares me too.

No, I’m not afraid of the act of dying.

That’s the easy part.

Even more so, I’m slightly jealous of Jon.

Imagine finally being free from sin and in the arms of God.

What could be better?

Yes, I am genuinely excited to die.

But that’s not the point.

The worst part of dying

is what it does to the people on earth who love you and are left behind.

I mentioned earlier how I almost - and sometimes do - start bawling everytime I hear the song “It is Well with my soul.”

Not because it’s a sad song.

But because my mom wants it sung at her funeral.

And even just the thought of mom dying hurts.

So yes, that is my point.

I am afraid to die, because I know it would cause my mom, my dad, my three siblings, and possibly a few friends a mountain of pain.

My heart cries for Jon’s parents and his six younger siblings that are in California in deep suffering.

They haven’t seen him since August. This is probably the longest they have ever been without him.

He’s an oldest child, so every member of that household was probably getting ready for the holiday season, counting down the days (only 23) until their beloved son and brother would return home.

Pray for the Kooima family. I can’t imagine how Christmas will be for them. I mourn for them.

Just pray they find peace.

Then do me a favor:

Breathe.

Feel your heart beating.

Who knows.

That breath you took could all the sudden fall short.

That heart beat you just felt could just stop.

So tell me:

When that breath and heartbeat is your last

Will you be ready to say with confidence:

“It is well, it is well, with my soul”?

Deeds.

4 Comments so far

  1. Jeremiah November 29th, 2006 11:51 pm

    Wow, you put it better than I ever could have. Something like this makes me realize what’s really important.

  2. rachel November 30th, 2006 8:09 am

    diane, you are an awesome writer and I agree with you .. you put all that so well

  3. Sarah November 30th, 2006 8:44 am

    Diane, Something I’ve thought about this summer: God has told us that our days are numbered. He has predetermined the number of days that each one of us will live, and, try as we like, we cannot add or subtract one day to our lives. People sometimes say, “If only I did this, so and so would still be alive”. But we cannot say that. It was their time, and it was God’s will that they should die.

    Instead of worrying about how you’re going to die, I think a healthier attitude is to realize that God has given you only so many days on this earth, and we need to enjoy them, and make the most out of the time that we have, because someday God is going to decide that your time is up, and He will take you, too.

    What I struggle with is worry over my husband and my boys. When you’ve had a brush with death in your family, or have been close to someone who has, it makes death more real and all the more scary. Yet the Bible tells us not to worry, and all the worrying you do is not going to keep your loved ones from dying when it’s their time. You need to trust God, knowing that His timing is perfect, and realize that even if you lose them in this life, you’ll see them again in the next. That should bring great comfort.

    Death is scary. There’s no wonder that in Pilgrim’s Progress it is represented as a river that we must pass through, and that there are uncertainties and fears as we go through it. One thing I wonder sometimes is how people feel when they realize they are about to die. The croc hunter, for example. How did he feel when he was taking the sting ray barb out of his heart? What was going through his mind? No one will ever know…

    It’s sad to hear about this boy at Dordt. This world is a veil of tears, and the family is, in no doubt, suffering a great deal. And we will suffer, too, a great many times. This world is full of suffering, and it’s hard to avoid it. It really does help to realize that God is in charge and His plan is perfect, but it should also encourage you to not get too comfortable here.

    Here are the lyrics to a song by Runrig. Several of the members of the band are Christmas, and many of their songs talk about God. I love this song.

    This world’s not my home
    I’m a stranger to the storm
    Save me, save me
    Where the race is quickest
    The tide runs strong
    Save me, save me
    A big sky above my
    West winds blow
    Sailing long distance
    Breaking the foam

    There’s a sky full of trouble
    Lifetimes and fear
    Save me, save me
    Talking the soundings
    Now the tempest is here
    Save me, save me
    And daylight is breaking
    On out-streched hands
    Lost on the ocean
    Reaching for land

    There’s a lighthouse
    Shining in the dark
    A lighthouse
    Standing in the dark
    All the world’s a ship
    Shipwrecked on the seas
    Breaking up in pieces
    We’re clinging to the reef
    There’s a lighthouse.

    Love you, DeeDee.

  4. Elizabeth Feucht November 30th, 2006 9:08 am

    What a gifted writer you are Diane! Andree Sue move over! Thanks for sharing. I will pray for Jon’s family. God is in control of all our days. In my bible reading this morning, I read Hebrews9:27- And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgement, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him. What a wonderful hope we have in being a Christian.

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